Mr. Nobody [who is definitely alive and well at our house!]
I know a funny little man,
As quiet as a mouse,
Who does the mischief that is done
in everybody's house!
There's no one ever sees his face,
And yet we all agree
That every plate we break was cracked
By Mr. Nobody.
'Tis he who always tears our books,
Who leaves the door ajar,
He pulls the buttons from our shirts,
And scatters pins afar;
That squeaking door will always squeak,
For, prithee, don't you see,
We leave the oiling to be done
By Mr. Nobody.
The finger marks upon the door
By none of us are made;
We never leave the blinds unclosed,
To let the curtains fade.
The ink we never spill; the boots
That lying 'round you see
Are not our boots - they all belong
To Mr. Nobody.
Not Me! (a relative of Mr. Nobody) by Jacqueline
Whenever Mom asks "Who did...?"
About something that should not be
You're sure to heard a quick response
As everyone shouts "Not Me!"
Or if she asks "Who forgot...?"
About something that should be done
Once again "Not Me" get the blame
From each and every one.
Miss Not Me by Sarah
So this is how the story goes
in our house everyone knows
anything done that should not be
we always blame on Miss Not Me.
If Mom's tweezers go missing
and Mom she goes growling and hissing
there's no on else that it could be
we always blame Not Me.
The mud foot prints in the hall
the fist that punched right through the wall
it wasn't anyone else you see
it is always Miss Not Me.
Everything that is done wrong
who else could it be
but Miss Not Me.
Not Me by Jonathan
I have a friend
not a better friend could be
there is no other friend like
He will take the blame
He won't complain
Oh what a friend
Who left the dishes
asks Mom as she wishes
that it wouldn't get blamed on
And what but a bottle
left for her to waddle
around and see
that yet again it was
Oh I really am sorry
but I do think even
the baby's first words